Menopause Rage Relieved Me of All the F*cks I Had To Give

And it's a relief too

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Going through menopause isn’t just hot flashes and night sweats. It’s also losing your temper at the flip of a coin. And no longer giving a f*ck if you piss someone off with your opinion.

I used to worry a lot about what people would think about my writing. Would they be offended by my opinions or make fun of my experiences? Would they judge my writing and tell me to get off the Internet?

Worrying made it hard to write about things honestly. At first, I tried to get everything just right. Line up all my facts and ensure there was nothing to attack.

But I needn’t have worried so much. Turns out it doesn’t matter.

No matter what you do, some people will call you stupid. They’ll insult you and your opinions.

This will happen when you write on the Internet. No matter how hard you try not to offend anyone and how many facts you present to underline your argument.

Because the Internet sucks. It’s full of trolls and unhappy people who want to make your life miserable.

But thanks to menopause, I no longer care. I don’t give a f*ck if random strangers on the Internet think my writing, my opinion, or my experiences suck.

I lost all the f*cks I had to give during this bumpy journey. And I cherish the feeling.

If you’re wondering why your mood has changed now that you’re in (peri-) menopause, the answer is, again, estrogen, of course.

Estrogen plays a role in the production of serotonin. When estrogen levels fall during menopause, serotonin levels can also fall, which affects mood.

Serotonin is one of the body’s natural chemicals that controls mood. It works together with melatonin to control the sleep cycle. It affects the sensation of pain, well-being and sexual desire. The change in serotonin is one of the reasons so many women experience mood disorders.

The lack of serotonin does not necessarily make you angry, but it can make it more difficult for you to swallow your anger.

I think menopause is nature’s way of encouraging women to let it all out finally.

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So, menopause has gifted me with a short temper. And a lot of rage to unleash at the drop of a hat. Of course, this newfound energy to push back on things I don’t want in my life is a blessing in disguise.

Being a walking time bomb can make life difficult for your loved ones. It’s a good idea to attach a warning label to yourself.

If you’re in the same situation, tell people you love and want to keep in your life that your hormones might make you explode at inopportune moments. And that they have to understand that it’s not them (well, sometimes it is); it’s you and the hormones. It makes it easier for them to deal with you suddenly going into berserk mode.

Most of the time I have my temper under control now, HRT (hormone replacement therapy) has seen to that. But My husband knows that if I turn into a raging ball of fire for seemingly no reason, he has to wait it out, and then we can have a normal conversation.

When it comes to dealing with obnoxious people and Internet trolls, on the other hand, the combination of short temper and lack of f*cks is a godsend.

Because if they mess around, they’ll find out.

I used to care if people thought I was nice and had good manners. But Miss Manners and the hormones that kept her civil have left the building.

If you’re rude to me, I’ll either refuse to engage with you or be equally rude to you. Or both. Maybe I’ll be rude back and block you right after. Just for funsicles.

For example, I posted a link to one of my articles on Threads yesterday. The one where I share how I’m still dealing with mental fatigue due to menopause. And how that makes doing a full-time job hard.

Together with a line from the article: “Menopausal women should not have to work. If men went through a similar physical change, the retirement age would be around 50. There, I said it.”

If you haven’t read it, it’s this story: “I’ll Be Ordering off the Early Bird Menu Soon.” I share how I crashed after a full day of back-to-back meetings due to my struggle with fatigue. And I joke that I might have to have dinner at 5 pm like a little old lady soon. Hence the title.

The image I chose for the piece shows an elderly woman in a diner having dinner.

Some twat came into my comments to tell me I was stupid. Because the picture shows an older woman who isn’t in menopause. Now, I could have explained to them that a) once menopause is over, you’ll be in a perpetual postmenopause state no matter your age or b) that the explanation is in the article, which they’d know had they read it.

I did neither. One of my pet peeves has always been people commenting on articles without reading them. They skim the title and form an opinion.

If you’re unwilling to invest some time to understand where someone is coming from, you’re not worth my time. And I will tell you this. So I told them that people like them shouldn’t be on the Internet and blocked them.

Because my time and my temper are short now, I no longer worry whether people might think I’m rude.

Have you also noticed a decline in your interest in other people’s opinions? Let me know. I feel this is the gift we get to balance out all the other issues menopause causes

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