I Wish I’d Never Stopped Going to the Gym

If you're on the fence about going back to the gym - do it - now

Image source aleksrybalko on freepik

There’s a life we had before the pandemic and a life after it.

Four years have passed, and I’m having a hard time seeing myself now in the person I was four years ago when our lives changed from one moment to the other.

Before, I went to the gym at least three times a week to lift heavy weights and took kickboxing classes three times a week. I loved training and spent a lot of time doing it—so much time that some of my friends felt the need to let me know that they thought I had developed an addiction to sports.

And I guess there’s some truth in that. I was addicted - not to going to the gym - but to the feeling of strength and control it gave me.

I was in the shape of my life, and I felt invincible.

That’s usually when things go wrong. Isn’t it?

And it did. The pandemic hit. Lockdowns closed all the gyms, and my husband’s pre-existing condition kept us shut in even during the intermissions.

I completely stopped training, and after about 18 months, I felt as if all my progress had evaporated. I was now - once more - a lethargic couch potato.

Maybe I wouldn’t have minded as much if I had been unaware of how important a solid strength training routine was for keeping me healthy.

If you’re a woman going through menopause, one of the best things you can do for yourself is lift heavy weights.

During the menopause transition, starting in perimenopause, estrogen levels fall. One of the negative effects of this is an increased risk of osteoporosis. Osteoporosis makes bones porous, leading to pain and increased risk of fractures. Strength training is one of the most effective ways to reduce this risk.

Lifting heavy weights effectively increases bone density. As Harvard Health reports:

The good news is that research shows that strength training can play a role in slowing bone loss, and can even build bone. This is tremendously useful to help offset age-related declines in bone mass. Activities that put stress on bones can nudge bone-forming cells into action. That stress comes from the tugging and pushing on bone that occur during strength training (as well as weight-bearing aerobic exercises like walking or running). The result is stronger, denser bones.

Strength training increases the production of muscle-building stem cells. The increase in muscle mass also boosts your metabolism and counteracts the slow weight gain during menopause. Before the pandemic, I was burning almost 3000 calories a day with all the training. I ate a lot without gaining weight, a habit I kept when I stopped exercising. That didn't go well, believe me.

Not only did I lose all the fitness progress I had made, I also gained about 50 pounds.

I swapped my fitness routine with anxiously binge eating, obsessively worrying that I might accidentally kill my husband if I wasn’t careful.

I was depressed, tired and overwhelmed. And I self-soothed by overeating. At some point, I was sure I’d developed a mental health issue. That’s how bad I felt.

I had no clue that menopause can cause mood disorders like anxiety, mental fatigue and depression. All I knew was that I felt incapable of changing the situation.

It would have been super helpful if I had understood that a lot of what I was feeling was due to the menopausal drop in estrogen. Some of what I was experiencing could have been controlled by adding HRT (hormone replacement therapy) to the mix.

Changes in your hormones during menopause can impact your mental health as well as your physical health. You may experience feelings of anxiety, stress or even depression. Menopausal symptoms may include: anger and irritability.

For me, the pandemic created the perfect negative storm. I had spent the years before in a constant state of good mood. Training is so addictive because it makes you feel good. It improves your mental health and makes you more stress-resistant.

When you exercise regularly, the chemicals in your brain change, such as serotonin, stress hormones and endorphins. Exercise helps you to sleep better. And good sleep helps you feel even better. It also improves your sense of control, coping ability and self-esteem.

You feel a special kind of achievement when you realize you can lift 80 kgs (177 lbs) off the floor with ease.

And what most people don’t realize is that strength training improves your cardiovascular health. Even if you don’t like cardio, strength training is a great way to improve your cardio fitness - though, in my case, kickboxing did the heavy lifting for my cardio fitness.

From one moment to the other, I was deprived of my daily dose of feel-good hormones. At the same time, menopause hit with a vengeance and brought all the unexpected mental health goodies: anxiety, listlessness, fatigue, and, of course, anger.

Watching myself change into someone I no longer recognized was like an out-of-body experience. I saw what was happening but felt I had no control over my mind or my body.

I even quit my job and took a four-month sabbatical in the hope of slowing down the downward spiral. Didn’t help. Sure, I was a little less tired, but a far cry from the energetic person who was constantly on the move. Exercising was out of the question. The thought of starting a routine felt like I was trying to climb out from under a ton of bricks.

The guilt I felt for not doing what I knew was necessary for my body wasn’t helping either. It was paralyzing. I was convinced that I was developing coronary disease, metabolic resistance and brittle bones all at the same time. Yes, I’m a bit of a hypochondriac, but the more you know, the more you worry, I guess.

The guilt fueled the anxiety; the anxiety fueled the mental fatigue. The mental fatigue made it impossible to get out of my hole. A vicious cycle.

I wish I’d never stopped going to the gym.

Maybe not all of the mood disorders and the health decline I experienced in the last four years due to menopause would have been avoided. But I’m deeply convinced that not training exacerbated the issue I had.

A couple of days back I finally went back to the gym for the first time in ages. A good friend asked me if I’d like to train with her. It was the perfect opportunity to motivate each other to train regularly.

The feeling of bliss I had for the rest of the day and the next after the first training session was indescribable. I was in a good mood—for no reason. I recognized that feeling of euphoria I used to have all the time before the pandemic.

It was that feeling that made me go back time and time again. That feeling of accomplishment and happiness helped me motivate myself even when I was tired or when it was dark and cold.

If I hadn’t been forced to stop training, I’m convinced the last four years would have been completely different—happier, more active and more satisfying.

I’ve grieved the life I left behind for two years now, but I think it’s time to stop looking back and start looking forward.

If you’re in perimenopause or postmenopause and you’re going to the gym, add a weight-lifting routine to your training if you haven’t already. And please don’t stop training. It might be the thing that’s keeping you afloat. If you’re not training, try to start; find a friend to go with you; it helps.

I know it’s easier said than done, but the difference it makes to your mental and physical well-being is crazy.

What is the fitness routine that’s keeping you sane?

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