The Importance of Routines in Peri/Menopause
Helping you manage your memory load
When I was younger, I hated routines. I found them restrictive and felt that they impinged on my freedom. I liked to think I was spontaneous and could just do what I felt, as I felt.
Now, I see routines as bringing me freedom because they move so many things from the ‘things I have to think about’ to the ‘things I don’t have to think about’ section of my brain.
My memory is not what it used to be. I don’t make decisions quite as fast. So, all the things I don’t need to think about make space for those things that I do. Essentially, we need to reduce as much of our memory load as possible by doing things automatically.
Remember when we had to consciously remember to check our mirrors and put on our indicators when we manoeuvred? Now we just do it. And let’s be honest, if the driving near me is anything to go by, it’s not menopausal women that forget to use their indicators…
So, if we have the same routine every morning and every evening, there’s less to think about. If we have the same checklist every time we leave the house, there’s less to think about. If there’s something we always do on the way home from work or before or after a meal, then we’re more likely not to forget.
This also works for the things we like to avoid. If we always exercise before breakfast or stop the car on the way home and go for a little walk, then we don’t have to argue with ourselves as to whether we do it or not.
Routines can involve the nice things too. Instead of trying to fit the things you really enjoy, or the downtime you need, around everything else and ending up missing out on them, give them their own special time too.
Those routines may take a little time to put in place. It might help to set one at once. You might find while you’re getting going it helps to have a mnemonic (remember MSM, mirror, signal manoeuvre). KPG. Keys, phone, glasses. It also helps to have a place to put those things!
You may need to use your devices while you get going — you might need reminding you promised yourself a journaling or meditation session after dinner (while other people wash up!).
And it’s important that you forgive yourself when you don’t manage it. When you have to let something go, because life’s complicated and sometimes you have to be flexible, don’t worry, just try to get it right the next day. The aim is to reduce the pressure on us, not increase it.
And then you can start the work of getting other people into the routines that take pressure off our memories — at home and at work!
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I think sticky notes were invented for menopause. The one on the inside of my front door says: keys, phone, $, Rx, bag (for shopping bag). However…after a couple of years there, it’s not capturing my attention as it once did. Perhaps a switch of color?